Who's Avoiding Sex, And Why

Who's Avoiding Sex, And Why

Sex has a strong influence on many aspects of well-being: it is one of our most basic physiological needs. Sex feeds our identity and is a core element of our social life.

Leave Your Cover Behind and Live Your Truth

Leave Your Cover Behind and Live Your TruthBeyond all of the material gifts we share, the greatest gift we can offer each other is the truth of who we really are. While true love invites us to come out and stand naked in the sun, fearful "love" asks us to hide who we are for the sake of holding on to a person or relationship. When you think about it, how valuable can a relationship be if you have to live in the dark to keep it?

Empathy and Attunement in Healthy and Successful Relationships

Empathy and Attunement in Healthy and Successful RelationshipsThe development of trust in a relationship is highly depen­dent upon two core concepts: empathy and attunement. Attunement is about being deeply aware of yourself and others. It is also about being receptive to information you get from others.

The Mystery Of Stay At Home Dads

The Mystery Of Stay At Home Dads

The picture of a dad with a toddler in his arms happily waving as mum heads off to work is attractive – it suggests a more equal, sharing and caring type of world.

Lascivious Virgins And Lustful Itches In Early England

Lascivious Virgins And Lustful Itches In Early EnglandIn the 18th and 19th centuries, masturbation was thought of as a “disease”, capable of causing psychological or physical damage like blindness or insanity. This medical and moral panic surrounding masturbation can still shape beliefs today.

Why We Need A New Philosophy Of Sex

Why We Need A New Philosophy Of Sex

A number of years ago, I found myself at a public sex beach in southern France for research purposes. Unsurprisingly, I experienced some ethical dilemmas.

The Secret To Ovulation Is In Women's Faces But Men Can't See It

The Secret To Ovulation Is In Women's Faces But Men Can't See ItIt’s not difficult to tell when a female chimpanzee is in heat. As she nears ovulation  — the point in her cycle when she’s most fertile  –  her bottom swells up like a balloon and turns bright pink. Humans are obviously different. We don’t make a show of how fertile we are. But does this mean that women have evolved to conceal ovulation?

Why Our Relationship With Dick Pics Is Complicated

Why Our Relationship With Dick Pics Is Complicated
Why do men send dick pics? Some research and popular commentary suggests it is for reasons of narcissism and over-confidence. Some men no doubt send them in the hopes of receiving a nude photo in kind, or because they genuinely believe that’s what women desire.

Is Love Losing Its Soul In The Digital Age?

Is Love Losing Its Soul In The Digital Age?
Instagram users have taken to issuing “weekiversary posts,” where they diligently mark the duration of their romances. This phenomenon makes some doubt the intensity of their own relationship.

You Need More Than Just Testes To Make A Penis

You Need More Than Just Testes To Make A Penis
In prenatal ultrasounds or at delivery, many new parents look between their baby’s legs: the presence of a penis is taken as a strong sign that it’s a boy.

The Benefits of Choosing Celibacy for a Few Months or More

The Benefits of Choosing Celibacy for a Few Months or MoreWhat brings a person to consider celibacy for a few months or years cannot be easily explained. It will take some time to reap the results of greater tolerance for sexual feelings without needing to act on them in conventional ways. Sex will become more of a choice than a need.

Embracing Nature: Gazing and the Dance of Touch

Embracing Nature: Gazing and the Dance of Touch The practice of looking into someone’s eyes and holding his or her gaze stimulates the sensations and presence of the body so strongly that it can almost be thought of as touch at a distance. The primary reason that many people find gazing into another’s eyes so challenging and daunting...

Why Older Adults May Need The Sex Talk Even More Than Teens

Why Older Adults May Need The Sex Talk Even More Than TeensHumans are sexual beings. This urge does not stop when the clock strikes 60. Or even 90.Young adults may deny older relatives are having sex, but sexual activity is a strong indicator of healthy aging and vitality.

Accepting Homosexuality: From Shame to Acceptance

Accepting Homosexuality: From Shame to AcceptanceI feel that now is the time to take a completely different look at Homosexuality! With modern science suspecting the causes of same-sex orientation to be genetic, it is time to dispel the myths of choice. When people are born a certain way through no choice of their own -- such as race, or looks, or handicaps -- should they be penalized by society? Is that fair?... I think not.

The Secret to the Love and Joy of our 50-Year Marriage

The Joy and Secret of a Long LoveDecember 21, 1968 was our wedding day. It was the happiest day for me. After four years of loving Barry and having people tell us that a Jewish/Christian marriage just cannot work, we were actually doing it. I was marrying the love of my life, the man foretold to me by an inner voice when I was nine years old...

Do You Want A Better Sex Life?

Do You Want A Better Sex Life?

One in 3 American adults do not get enough sleep. Sexual issues are also common, with as many as 45 percent of women and 31 percent of men having a concern about their sex life.

How To Tell If You Are Dating A Psychopath

How To Tell If You Are Dating A Psychopath
It may sound like a scene straight out of a horror movie, but statistically you are not that unlikely to end up on a date with a psychopath. It is estimated that about 1 in 100 people are psychopaths. The majority of psychopaths aren’t actually criminals, but live fairly ordinary lives in our midst. So how do you know if you happen to be dating a psychopath and what should you expect? Luckily, there’s research on the topic.

How To Know If You Are An Extrovert?

How To Know If Are You An Extrovert?When it comes to socializing, is your philosophy "The more, the merrier?" If so, you definitely show qualities associated with the trait known as extroversion...

Freud Versus Jung: A Bitter Feud Over The Meaning Of Sex

Freud Versus Jung: A Bitter Feud Over The Meaning Of SexOn 27 February 1907, at Berggasse 19 in Vienna, Sigmund Freud fell in love. The object of his affection was Carl Gustav Jung: 19 years younger than Freud, the young psychiatrist was already the clinical director of the prestigious Burghölzli Hospital and a professor at the University of Zurich.

How Marriage Has Changed Dramatically Throughout History

How Marriage Has Changed Dramatically Throughout History
In 2017, Australians were asked “Should the law be changed to allow same-sex couples to marry?”. The answer was a resounding “yes” – more than 60% of those who expressed a view backed marriage equality.

To Really Appreciate a Woman...

To Really Appreciate a Woman...
Real appreciation is a gift of love straight from the heart, an acknowledgement of another’s greatness and beauty, and a way of showing your partner that you really care. Many women need specific kinds of appreciation. And many men don’t understand this.

To Really Appreciate a Man...

To Really Appreciate a Man...
Find out what kind of acknowledgment means most to the man in your life. How does he most need to be appreciated? You may be surprised. Please don’t get the idea that men don’t need appreciation for inner qualities of being.

How Humor Can Change Your Relationship

How Humor Can Change Your Relationship
A sense of humor is an attractive trait. There is abundant cross-cultural evidence that shows that being funny makes you more desirable as a mate, especially if you are a man. But once the initial flirting is over, and you are in a romantic relationship, how large a role does humor play?

Chi and Sexual Energy: A Path Toward Health, Vitality, and The Divine

Chi and Sexual Energy: A Path Toward Health, Vitality, and The Divine
Energy, like water, is the life-giving sustenance of the earth. Sexual energy is nourishment for the totality of ourselves -- the body, the mind, and the spirit. It is the water of life, replenishing the gardens of the human temple. Working with energy is a pivotal factor in our overall state of happiness.

How To Make Sure Your Relationships Are Functional, Not Dysfunctional

How To Make Sure Your Relationships Are Functional, Not Dysfunctional
A healthy relationship stimulates both partners' individual growth. A functional relationship is not a fairy-tale type 'they lived happily ever after' scenario; it is subject to the same stresses and challenges inherent in any human partnership.

Feminine Wisdom and Aging: The Positive Role of the Wise Woman and Crone

Feminine Wisdom and Aging: The Positive Role of the Wise Woman and Crone
Times are changing, and for the most part, the word 'crone' is now accurately being used as a synonym for a woman who not only embodies postmenopausal wisdom, but shares it with the world. It is the time when the wisdom and healing of a woman's menopausal journey quickens in her heart, and her desire to share all that she has learned drives her back to the outer world.

What Do We Consent To When We Consent To Sex?

What Do We Consent To When We Consent To Sex?Two men regularly meet at a sex club, so that one (‘the top’) can fist the other (‘the bottom’). One night, the fisting duo stay until the club closes. The lights click on in their sobering glory, exposing the prosthetic hand that the top has been inserting into the anus of the bottom.

Prayer of Love For My Son On His Wedding Day

Prayer of Love For My Son On His Wedding Day
I pray that I no longer seek for the other one for I have found completion in me. And if in my solitary journey,  I happen to join with another soul, let our hearts merge because we have so much love to give... And if we find ourselves taking, let our receiving be based on...

Want To Know If Your Partner's Cheating On You?

Want To Know If Your Partner's Cheating On You?

Picture Morgan Freeman, Donald Trump or Margaret Thatcher. Most likely you can hear their voices in your mind, and the characteristic inflections that they put on certain words, as well as their tone and pitch.

How to Restore Sexual Performance

How to Restore Sexual PerformanceThere are several ways to restore most of one's sexual performance including a high tone of physical conditioning and mental attitude. The power of the mind to influence the relative efficiency of one's sexual performance cannot go unnoticed.

How Can I Love Better, Without Conditions or Expectations?

How Can I Love Better, Without Conditions or Expectations?
Love has to be understood, not as a biological infatuation — that is lust. That exists in all the animals; there is nothing special about it. Love is the fragrance of a silent, peaceful, meditative heart. Love has nothing to do with biology or chemistry or hormones...

The Psychology Of Closure And Why Some Need It More Than Others

The Psychology Of Closure And Why Some Need It More Than Others
Imagine your partner unexpectedly changes their Facebook status from “in a relationship” to “single” and then refuses to communicate with you. This sounds awfully cruel, completely robbing you of your right to find out why you have been dumped so that you can get some closure and move on.

Is Wifehood Old-Fashioned And Does It Still Matter?

Is Wifehood Old-Fashioned And Does It Still Matter?

When the King of Sweden asks Joan, the protagonist of the newly-released film The Wife, what she does for a living, she replies, ironically, “I am a king maker”. This poignant scene takes place towards the film’s end, as Joan (Glenn Close) takes part in the festive dinner celebrating her husband being awarded the Nobel Prize in Literature.

How Do You Know If It's Attraction or Lasting Love?

How Do You Know If It's Attraction or Lasting Love?
The image of the partner who is most attractive to you is buried deep within your unconscious mind. You began sketching this picture soon after your birth and before you were a teenager the composite was nearly complete. Your Imago has a dominant influence over the type of partner you seek, the way you relate to him, and how happy you will be together. The relationship script you wrote as a child is based on both the Imago you created and the childhood wounds you suffered.

How Will My Divorce Affect My Kids?

how divorce affects kids 9 11

Most children adjust well to parental separation and divorce, at least in the long term. A minority of children of separated parents have long-term problems, which can affect them through their childhood and into adult life. But it’s conflict between separated parents, and not the separation itself, which accounts for many of the problems children of separated parents experience.

Should We Scoff At The Idea Of Love At First Sight?

Should We Scoff At The Idea Of Love At First Sight?
For a lecture course I teach at Brown University called “Love Stories,” we begin at the beginning, with love at first sight. To its detractors, love at first sight must be an illusion – the wrong term for what is simply infatuation, or a way to sugarcoat lust. Buy into it, they say, and you’re a fool.

The Winds of Grace Can Sometimes Feel Like A Curse

The Winds of Grace Can Sometimes Feel Like A Curse
It’s been said that whatever brings us to face the essential truth of our lives may be called “grace.” Frequently, grace assumes a form that feels more like a curse than a blessing. It can be a life-threatening illness, the loss of a family member, being fired from a job, the kids leaving home (or coming back), divorce, a serious accident, or any number of possible crises that can be encountered in one’s life.

Are Midlife Sex Problems More Common Than You Think?

Are Midlife Sex Problems Are More Common Than You Think?

The most common sexual problem is low desire, according to a research study we recently published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. Around 40 per cent of the women we asked, and 30 per cent of men, reported experiencing problems with low desire during the last six months.

What I Love Most About You...

What I Love Most About You...
How often do you tell the special people in your life exactly what it is that you love most about them? How often do you identify what's good about your spouse, lover, children, sisters, brothers, dad, mother, uncles, aunts, friends, and colleagues -- and actually put it into words so there can be no doubt?

Love & All the Good Stuff: There's No Such Thing As A Failed Relationship

Love & All the Good Stuff: There's No Such Thing As A Failed Relationship
Quite often, I spend time with people who are extremely critical of themselves for having multiple failed relationships. The truth is, they're missing the point: We can't fail, because there's no way to do these things wrong. A failed relationship, if you put it into its proper context, is a chance to...

How Technology Is Changing Sex

How Technology Is Changing SexAs the TV series Westworld wraps up its second season, the show continues to spark discussion about a potential future that involves lifelike sex robots.

Women Show Sexual Preference For Tall, Dominant Men

Women Show Sexual Preference For Tall, Dominant Men
The old cliché tells us the most desirable men are “tall, dark, and handsome” – and scientific research confirms that heterosexual women tend to prefer partners who are taller than them.

Separation as a Powerful Relationship Tool

Separation as a Powerful Relationship Tool
Taking time apart from a loved one is often thought of as the end of the relationship. But after 53 years together, and helping to guide thousands of couples, Joyce and I view separation as a sometimes vital necessity in a relationship...

Repairing Relationships with the Three Keys to Everlasting Love

Repairing Relationships with the Three Keys to Everlasting Love
Some couples seem blessed with everlasting love. Then, there’s the rest of us—who start running into trouble once the honeymoon is over. We encounter differences, disagreements, disappointments. Buttons get pushed. And communication breaks down as issues become increasingly hard to resolve.

100 Practices For Great Relationships

100 Practices For Great Relationships
When my husband Charlie and I conducted our study, Secrets of Great Marriages: Real Truths from Real Couples about Lasting Love, these are the practices that respondents told us had held them in good stead to grow their exemplary relationships.

Finding Your Perfect Partner: Two Key Ingredients

Finding Your Perfect Partner: 2 Key IngredientsSharing your life with a loving partner is very rewarding and meaningful. Since we work with couples, we often ask them how they met. Often they will respond that they met online. Typically, they are somewhat embarrassed when they reveal this, thinking that it should have been a more natural and romantic way of meeting. But...

We Tell These Lies When Looking For Love Online

We Tell These Lies When Looking For Love Online
Lying about availability is a common deception online dating users tell potential partners, according to a new paper. “Until now, it has been relatively unclear how often mobile daters use deception in their messages before they meet the other person,” says Markowitz.

How Same-Sex Couples Divide Housework

How Same-Sex Couples Divide Housework
Housework is often understood as a gendered negotiation based on the traditional roles of homemaker (feminine) and breadwinner (masculine). While gender norms have shifted dramatically in the past few decades, theories of housework are still stuck on this 1950s model.

Does Age Difference Matter In Relationships?

Does Age Difference Matter In Relationships?
Romantic couples with a large age gap often raise eyebrows. Studies have found partners with more than a ten-year gap in age experience social disapproval.

The Unseen Impact Of Domestic Violence

The Unseen Impact Of Domestic Violence
The statistics are terrifying: In Canada, one woman is killed every week by her partner; globally, one third of women will suffer violence at the hands of someone they love in their lifetime. But what if survivors like Susan are also dealing with the effects of a traumatic brain injury along with the fear and trauma of finally having escaped a long-term abusive relationship?

Why It's So Hard For Women To Leave Abusive Relationships

Why It's So Hard For Women To Leave Abusive Relationships
In a widely read blog post, Jennifer Willoughby wrote this phrase after each of the many reasons she gave for enduring what she described as her abusive marriage to former White House aide Rob Porter: “And so I stayed.”

If You Cared About Me, You'd Read My Mind

If You Cared About Me, You Would...
We're programmed to have unrealistic expectations from movies and TV, from romance stories promising wonderful experiences with people who anticipate our every wish. We want someone to be always caring, always considerate, always loveable, always giving. But these romantic illusions too often leave us feeling cheated...

Why People Have Affairs, And How To Deal With Them

Why People Have Affairs, And How To Deal With Them
Infidelity highlights the potential fragility of our closest and most important of relationships. But despite the blunt belief infidelity is the result of immoral and over-sexed individuals wanting their cake and eating it too, the reality is far more nuanced.

You Are My Valentine: Loving the One You're With

Are You My Valentine? Loving the one you're with
There can be plenty of tension associated with Valentine's Day. One cold, dreary February 14th, I am at the grocery store at 5 p.m. In the parking lot I can see men getting out of their cars and scurrying into the store. Inside at the express lane checkout counter are five men standing in line, each holding a dozen roses...

Allowing Yourself to Be Vulnerable in Relationship

Allowing Yourself to Be Vulnerable in Relationship
The paradox of vulnerability in relationships, the path to connection, is to allow yourself to be both strong and vulnerable at the same time. When you do, it allows your partner to get to see the real you with your defenses down. This means no hiding. Not from yourself, not from your partner and best of all no hiding from the truth.

4 Ways To Be More Vulnerable With A Woman

4 Ways To Be More Vulnerable With A WomanTo be vulnerable with a woman is to allow yourself to be seen and known in your entirety, not just your powerful, independent, secure, loving and capable self. To be vulnerable is to show her your fear, pain, shame, and need for love.

Why We All Want The Same Things In A Partner

Why We All Want The Same Things In A Partner

Characteristics merely reflect gross exaggerations of important evolutionary qualities that we actually want in a long-term partner.

Why People Cheat on Their Partners

Why People Cheat on Their PartnersWe all know what infidelity is, but a universal definition is difficult to carve out—especially in the digital age. Is watching porn cheating, or is it only cheating if the person on the other side of the screen is live?

Why Most Of Us Lean To The Right When We Kiss

Why Most Of Us Lean To The Right When We KissSimple behavioural tests have now allowed us to see how this organisation is revealed through biases in how we see and interact with the world – and each other – often without us being aware of it.

How to Stay in Love: The Secret of the Best Relationship

The Secret of the Best Relationship

Everyone wants to stay in love, so why do some relationships make it, while others don’t? Why does the love in some relationships flourish, while getting buried in others? What are the secrets of a healthy and fulfilling relationship?

When Sex Roles Get Reversed, Some Females Develop A Penis

A male African jacana bird mounts a female, but who takes the lead in caring for the young?. In many species, the males develop elaborated sexual traits to attract females and dissuade potential rival males through competition.

Why Young Men Have Sex They Don’t Actually Want

Why Young Men Have Sex They Don’t Actually WantHeterosexual men have unwanted sex with women for two reasons, interviews with 39 college men suggest: in order to conform to gender expectations and to avoid uncomfortable interactions.

Is Sexual Harassment Part Of Growing Up

Is Sexual Harassment Part Of Growing UpAllegations about sexual harassment in Hollywood, British politics and various other sectors have exposed a reality already familiar to most women.

Fewer Are Getting Married. Is Marriage Becoming Obsolete?

Fewer Are Getting Married. Is Marriage Becoming Obsolete?There’s no doubt: Fewer people are making a commitment to marriage. Barely “more than half of adults in the U.S. say they’re living with a spouse. It is the lowest share on record, and down from 70 percent in 1967.”

How Sharing Parenting Duties Could Be Key To Marital Bliss

sharing parental duties 10 5The quality of women’s relationships with their partner is diminished if they view their parenting division as unfair or want to spend more time working, our new study of employed parents in Canada has found.

Words of Wisdom That Changed My Perception

Words of Wisdom That Changed My PerceptionThe list was one I never thought I would make. I stared at the book titles I had jotted down for reference; each of them looked at divorce from a different angle. I felt I was at the end of my rope as I drifted farther and farther away from any hope of restoring the unity we...

Who's Avoiding Intercourse, And Why

Who's Avoiding Intercourse, And WhySex has a strong influence on many aspects of well-being: it is one of our most basic physiological needs. But millions of people spend at least some of their adulthood not having sex.

Don’t Hold Back! Love With All Your Heart!

Don’t Hold Back! Love With All Your Heart!When I was twenty-seven, a woman friend became frustrated with how much love and attention I was giving my husband. I was making my relationship with him my top priority, even over career and friends. She saw my devotion as old fashioned and “unliberated.”

A New Way To Think About Dementia And Sex

A New Way To Think About Dementia And SexPersons living with dementia don’t have sex. Or they have weird sex. Or they have dangerous sex, in need of containment.

How To Have A Satisfying Relationship?

How To Have A Satisfying Relationship?

When Joan Holloway – the bombshell office worker on the show “Mad Men” – enters a room, she knows she looks good and is going to turn heads.

The 3 Parts of Relationship Commitment

The 3 Parts of Relationship CommitmentWhat does it mean to be fully committed in a monogamous relationship? The traditional meaning has to do with focusing your romantic energies only upon your partner. You are not committed if you have “one foot outside the door,” meaning you are still available for romantic relationship with another person.

5 Sleeping Beauty Relationship Rules

5 Sleeping Beauty Relationship Rules"A childless royal couple finally has a baby... Life spins along normally for the next sixteen or so years. One day, the princess discovers..."

Trust Is The Foundation of Love, Yet How Do You Build It?

Trust Is The Foundation of Love, Yet How Do You Build It?Trust is the foundation of love. Yet how do you build it? With monotonous regularity you hear your friends and colleagues say, "You can't trust anyone anymore." Almost every popular magazine you open has an article about how couples cheat on each other. Yes, a majority of married men and women do...

When Love Turns To Hatefully Ever After

When Love Turns To Hatefully Ever AfterIt’s often said that the opposite to love is not hate, it’s indifference. Why then are some of us so seemingly fickle in our ability to switch from love to hate in an instant? The Conversation

Your Exes Share More Than Being Just Your Type

Your Exes Share More Than Being Your Just Your TypeWhat do your exes have in common? A new study finds that the people we date share many similarities—both in terms of appearance and personality.

7 Primary Ingredients For A REALationship

7 Primary Ingredients For A REALationshipREALationship. Okay, it’s a cute word. But what does it mean to have a real relationship, a relationship with substance? What does it take to have a relationship that not only lasts, but also thrives with loving connection?

Why Is It Important To Get Real and “Love Smart”?

Getting Real and “Loving Smart”It’s up to you to take smart risks with love. You don’t want to put your heart in the care of anybody who’s going to hide their true self, treat you poorly, and/or turn out to be psychologically unavailable. Trust must be earned and renewed regularly by our actions.

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